Ok, I'm just about going insane now. I'm still almost constantly nauseous. I didn't fall asleep last night until 5 am because I had a massive headache and I felt so sick I could hardly move. I thought maybe it was just the headache, but now I'm awake and the headache is gone, but I'm still nauseous. So much in fact that going through my communities filter is a challenge because I have food blogs on there and the pictures almost make me gag.

I can't deal with this. I'm not sleeping properly, I feel sick all the time, I'm exhausted and I have so much to do. I just want to crawl into bed and stay there.

This morning I even woke up shaking...probably due to the fact that I can hardly eat. I managed to force down a banana though.

I hope this gets better soon. It could be some kind of gastritis, which I've had before, although never with symptoms this strong...gah. I don't know. I'm just going nuts.

Also, TMI warning, I haven't had a single bowel movement since Friday. I don't know what that means either.

Any ideas anyone?

Meh. I'm still feeling a little under the weather. This is not cool seeing as I'm busy as hell. Kiddi, Nína and I are supposed to turn in our first draft before the end of the week. We met with our teachers earlier today and I'm gonna go hang out at Kiddi's to work on the statistics with his girlfriend (she was nice enough to agree to help us with SPSS work). The paper is then due next week.

My Criminology paper is due on Friday. Shit.

I have two Image Interpretation and Remote Sensing exams on Thursday next week and I need to revise for that. I also have to work on the big group project for that same class. I should check when that's due and get it touch with my group buddies (Kalli and Palli, the rhyming names thing still amuses me).

Then I have this research project on blind people to work on as well. I need to talk to my teacher about that as well. I have no idea when to turn it in. Hopefully not too soon. I did find some books for that, but I need some more information on Denmark. *sigh*

Argh. Shoot me? All this is hard to do when I'm queasy, exhausted and sore. I totally meant to use the weekend to get lots of stuff done...that went so well. *sarcasm alert* Anyway, I should eat something before I go to Kiddi's place.

It's funny how much one can sleep when getting better after being sick. I've managed to sleep most of the day away. I still feel a little queasy and I don't really want to eat anything. I had some toast earlier and a few bits of candy...and that's about it. :P

I suspect I'll be fine tomorrow.

My sister goes back to Denmark on Monday. We're all having dinner together tomorrow night and then I don't get to see my little nieces for months and months. *sob*

It occurs to me every now and then that when I move away to Sheffield I'll be leaving everyone behind and I won't see my family for months and months. *sobs more* That'll be difficult. I will prevail!!!

I'm no longer nauseous, but I'm still feeling rather listless and tired. My back also hurts like a bitch. Buh. I'm going to try to get some school work done today, but I'm not sure how much I'll manage. *sigh*

I'm so sick, it's not even funny. I feel constantly nauseous, every movement makes it worse. I have a really hard time keeping food down. Right now I'm trying to eat one piece of toast and it's taking forever. After every bite I have to wait for my stomach to settle.

I also have a fever and I hurt absolutely everywhere. It just keeps getting worse. I'm not actually vomiting very often, but I feel worse and worse anyway.

My niece Kristina is sick too. I last met her a few days ago so this obviously took a few days to brew. I hope it doesn't last long, I feel so bad I just want to swallow a pound of sleeping pills and sleep through the whole thing.

I was going to get so much school stuff done today. I don't have time for this to linger for days, I'm crossing fingers and toes in the hope that this is just one of those 24-hour bugs.

I'm sick! This is so not cool. I managed to fall asleep at a fairly decent time, then I woke up at some point because I felt really nauseous. Like...really. I went and got a bucket to put next to the bed. I managed to fall asleep again (and dreamt about Sam and Dean and time traveling and possessed people) and then got up at 8. vampyran and I were going to go to the library together, but I was still feeling poorly. I decided to hop in the shower in the hope that it would all get better.

Nope. I as soon as I'd dried off I threw up. *sigh*

Last time I had this kind of stomach bug was early January and that was because I'd been surrounded with kids who were also sick. There's nothing like that going on now, so I don't know. Hopefully it won't get more serious than this, I have a very sensitive digestive system. I got a salmonella poisoning in 2000 and another crazy food poisoning could be very very harmful to me.

Argh. I'm gonna lie down and try to get some more sleep. *sob*

Also: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE SICK!

So I'm trying to put my application together. On section ask for this: "Please provide information on the reasons for selecting the course of study." I asked the woman in charge of the programme for some pointers and she said: "You don't need to spend too much time on your supporting statement. Just say why you are interested in the course, what extra experience you have if any and what you what you do with the qualification/your career. But fairly brief."

I wrote a little bit and I'm being all nervous and stuff...so...I'm gonna put it here. What do you think? Is it any good? I was trying to sort of explain where my interest comes from and what I want...and...stuff. Omg, it's crap isn't it?

( Click here to read the crap I wrote )

So, you know I'm working on applying for this MPH programme at the University of Sheffield. I just got an e-mail from the woman in charge of it. She just wanted to check whether everything was going all right and whether I had all the information I need.

So sweet! Way to make me feel welcome and wanted. :)

In other news: trying to work on a paper but feeling incredibly uninspired. I should probably leave the house. Maybe I'll go sit down at a cafe somewhere.

So I didn't get much at all done today. *sigh* Oh well. I'm going to get up early tomorrow and go to the library. I have class at 3.50pm (if I remember correctly) and I have a lot of stuff I need to finish before then. Tomorrow night I'm going to allow myself some down time. I want to spend the evening with the family. I want Íris Lilja cuddles!

Work tonight was ok. One lady asked me if I had some booze to add to her juice. *laughs* I bathed someone for the first time, it went well...and apparently he told my boss that I was gentle with him. Score!

I was working with this painfully adorable Spanish guy. He's really sweet. He came to me and asked me what we call rice porridge in Icelandic (grjónagrautur). He had a really hard time pronouncing it, much to the amusement of the old lady I was helping at the time.

But yeah. It's half past midnight. How does time always fly away from me so fast? I should go to bed now so I won't be too brain dead in the morning.

Oh yeah, I've been checking out a lot of new music lately. La Roux, Daniel Merriweather, The Raveonettes, Kent, new OneRepublic album (I can't wait to listen to that one, they say it's a whole new sound and I'm very curious - I'll listen to it in bed before I fall asleep). Etc. Ahh music, I love it.

Holy crap I'm tired! Like...woah. Work was nice though. There's one old lady who's driving us all a little nuts. She calls for help every 10 minutes, often just to ask us to help with tiny things. The problem is that she's perfectly capable of doing everything for herself (believe me, I've seen her), she's just kind of anxious and wants to be pampered. It just gets really frustrating when she's calling for help at really busy moments when we're trying to get to those who need so much more help than she does.

Since I started about two months ago we've had close to 10 deaths. It's been really kind of insane. I work every other weekend, and almost every time I've arrived for my first shift of the weekend, I've found out someone died. I was really glad to find out that it doesn't bother me. I was a bit nervous that I'd have a hard time dealing with that, but it's been ok. It's not that I don't care, I just know that they're old and sick and it's ok. I'm more concerned for how the other residents feel about it than my own sensibilities. I haven't actually been on shift when someone died though, I'm not sure how I'd deal with that. Hopefully with the same kind of calm that I've been able to deal with everything else there. *crosses fingers*

I know I sound silly, but death has never really touched me before. This is a whole new dimension to my life. I like it though, not in a morbid sort of way, I just know it's time I face the fact that death is a very big and important part of life. I can't just go on ignoring it. This is a gentle way for me to become somewhat more familiar with it.

I brought a book to work with me and was able to read some and write down a few notes. I'm supposed to write a paper on prison politics. I was lucky enough to find a whole text book just on prisons. I'm going to try to read most of it to get a better feel for the subject.

I'm working from 5 to 9 tomorrow, but I'm going to try to get as much studying done as I can before I go to work.

But yeah. Sleep now.

I don't wanna go to work. :(

Holy crap I'm tired. I'm absolutely exhausted. I was going to get up and go to the library to study today, but I'm not entirely sure I can. I've slept for about 9 hours and still I feel almost like I haven't slept at all. My eyes burn and I ache all over. I hate this sometimes, I work 25%, every other weekend. It's not much...at all. And yet every weekend that I'm working I get so tired. There's no way I could do this job full time, it would kill me.

Well, I have a lot of work to do. I did bring some books and stuff with me from the library yesterday, so even if I stay at home I should be able to get something done.

Life is kind of hectic and insane right now. For the last two weeks or so I've been in escape-mode, but I think now I'm ready to face it all. Too bad I'm working this weekend. Here's what's going on:

School
Image Interpretation and Remote Sensing:
-Palli and Kalli (yes, their names rhyme and yes, we're amused) have finished the vegetation maps. I've made some headway on the intro chapter. I finally found some sources and stuff that will prove to me useful. I should probably e-mail them and check what's going on.
-I'm still waiting for the teacher to let me know when I get to take the make up exam. This is rather on the stressful side because the next exam is in less than three weeks.

Sociological Theories:
-I got a 9 on the midterm. Woot!
-The essay isn't due until December 16th, so I'm going to let that one wait a bit while I deal with the more urgent stuff.

Criminology:
-I need to get to work on the essay. I did get some books from the library the other day, but I haven't even looked at them, so I'm not sure it counts. :P

Vestmannaeyjar:
-I realized I didn't know enough about SPSS to do what I wanted to do with the Vestmannaeyjar data. Kiddi's girlfriend offered to help, so she took the files home with her. I have finished writing the methods chapter, minus a few details.

Research project:
-I have chosen a subject and that's it. Someone shoot me!

Thesis:
-I've been thinking about it a lot. Does that count?
-I need to find some interesting people to e-mail and ask for ideas.

Sheffield:
-Application is mostly filled in. I need to write a short something about why I'm interested in the programme. I also need to figure out how to send them the TOEFL thing. Anyone know how that works? The website is super complicated.

Life
-The apartment is finally mostly clean. I bought a bed and put it together and we tidied everything up before the Halloween party. There are still some things I need to put away, but I'm feeling much better about everything.
-My little brother is a mess and I hardly even know how to feel about it anymore. I'll write more about it soon.
-I'm overweight and I hate it. But I've mostly been better about not eating like a pig. Mostly.

In other news:

My sister came home with her family yesterday. I finally got to see my new niece, Íris Lilja. She's perfectly adorable. She will not sleep unless someone is holding her and so she slept in my arms for a while. It was wonderful. It was also great to see Kristina and having the whole family get together like we did last night was just fantastic. They'll be staying for 9 more days and I'm really looking forward to spending more time with them. I will try to be good about studying too. I hope.

Argh! Too busy!

There's so much that I "need" to do. I'm going insane. But I'll get there, eventually. I'll probably end up pulling a few all nighters at some point, but whatever.

Anyway. I woke up "early" this morning and went to the library and got some work done. I have to go to work in half an hour. I just decided to go home for a bit so I could cook something to bring to work for dinner. Pasta is boiling as we speak. :)

( Tweets of the day )</ p></ p>

So, while I read a lot of fan fic slash, I also read a lot of original slash. I would like to point you in the direction of one excellent author. Zebbie on FictionPress. Completely awesome author. Seriously.

My favourites are:

"Lifelike" - WIP. Ewan, my dead sister's son, took under a week to wrench my life apart. Some advice - never sign contracts hungover. He stole my bedroom; that was the beginning. Lord help me, it took an 11 year old to make me grow up. Slow slash, no incest or kid fiddling - This one is heartbreaking and beautiful. Than has been a complete mess since he lost the love of his life, Sam, 11 years ago. Then his sister dies and he's stuck with her son Ewan. They both have to work through their grief to learn to live with each other.

"Cold Turkey" If there were groups for this, I know exactly what I’d say. “My name is Thom Oliver, and I’m addicted. It’s been six months, 3 days, 14 hours since my last one night stand. Please keep Evan Llewellyn away from me. I think I’m going to rape him.” Slash. - Hot and awesome and difficult.

"Technicoloured Something" - An architecture project finds wheelchair bound Matt paired with Abel Moser and he's determined he won't become that perfect souvenir for the bohemian student out to experience it all and make the world a better place along the way. MxM. Slash. - Abel is flamboyant and happy while Matt is bitter. They need to learn to work together.

I love how she's not afraid to tackle issues that so many people avoid like the plague, such as disability and death/grief. In "Lifelike" Ewan is hard of hearing and slowly going completely deaf. Than's love interest is Ewan's completely deaf teacher. In "Technicoloured Something" Matt is in a wheelchair and there are a lot of issues in the story that revolve around that. Her characters are real, they have real life issues, they aren't perfect...and they're all the more lovable for it. They're heartbreaking and not easy to read, but they're moving and so well written.

I love FictionPress btw. I love finding new authors there. The best way is check out what stories/authors the good authors have as favourites. Other good authors are: Jumping Jack Flash (read The Kastor Chronicles and The God Eaters) and Ocotillo (Esperanza is so goooood, and so it The Violet and the Tom).